YiKEs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Once upon a time there was a village know to many as, The Not-So-Perfect-Village. The village comprised of many streets, but on one particular street, there were only two houses. 

The people who lived there were enemies because one could do absolutely wrong whilst the other could do absolutely everything right. 

One day, both the right and the wrong person came face-to-face at a neighborhood watch meeting, the right person began to tell the wrong person how to do everything right. 

Suddenly, forgetting years of bad blood, they became friends. 

From that day on, the wrong person could do absolutely everything right. The right person was very pleased with his progress. 

The wrong person who became right started to feel very proud of himself. They both lived happily ever after.

THE END 

“Perry’s Pepper Pizza Parlor!” Perry said. 

“May I help you?”

“Yes, I’d like to order a large pepper pepperoni pizza with hot peppers and green peppers,” said the lady on the other end of the phone.

“Is that all, ma’am?” asked Perry.

“Yes, but please put the hot peppers on half the pizza and the green peppers on both halves.”

“Also, I’d like the pepperoni on the hot pepper part but not on the green pepper part.”

“But didn’t you say you wanted the green peppers on both parts?”

“That’s right,” the lady replied.

“That’s not possible!” Perry pronounced.

“Why can’t I have green peppers on the whole pizza?”

“I mean the pepperoni part.”

“I don’t see why pepperoni placement is so difficult,” the lady said. “But if that’s too much trouble, just put the pepperoni on the whole pizza!” she added impatiently.

Perry sighed. “That will be twelve dollars and fourteen cents.”

“Can you deliver my pizza?”

“Sure can. What’s your address?”

“There’s no number, but I live on Forestview Road.”

“Can you help me a little more than that?” Perry asked, trying to be as pleasant as possible.

“I live in a white trailer with a pickup truck in the driveway,” responded the lady.

Perry wanted to scream, “So does everyone else in this county!” but he restrained himself. “Can you give me a little more help than that?” he asked calmly.

“Yes, there is no blue picket fence in front of our home,” said the lady.

“Are there blue picket fences in front of all the other homes on your road?”

“No, silly, but we used to have one a few years ago. Just look for the home that doesn’t have one there anymore.”

Perry began to dream about early retirement. “I’m kind of confused,” he said in a shaky voice.

“No offense, sir,” the lady said, “but you do have a listening comprehension problem.”

4. Some of you should be chilling out by now - beaten down by an up.

Others of you soldier on; I promise it's all down hill from here. 

3. Now begin your descent. At no point in this journey will you lay even a little toe on an upward lying inclination - plot your peregrination accordingly.  

When the end of the day is nigh....